GLAMOROUS SKY
by shirozora
Summary: The question is, is this it? Is this all that's left for him? Roxas-centric post-KH2.


**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but the concept for this oneshot. All the characters and all the premises belong to Square-Enix and Disney.

Enjoy.

**X X X **

**«GLAMOROUS SKY»**

Sometimes – but only at night – he'd walk down to the shore and sit in the sand. He'd tilt his head up and look up at the sky and try to count the stars winking down at him. He'd listen for the rippling rush of the sea on the beach, and he'd take a deep breath to smell the heady aroma of sweet tropical flowers and salt. He'd dig into the sand and rub the grains against his fingers.

He'd sit there for hours, until the sun peeks over the horizon and spreads a glorious rosy warmth across the sky and sea. Then he'd rise to his feet and trek back to the beachside house, through the door and up the stairs, and back to where he belonged.

Time would fly by him in his white world and he'd reemerge, weeks later, to follow the same path down to the sea.

_Was this it?_ He'd sit and stare at the white walls around him, and try to paint them with his memories of dawn. Was this the extent of his existence? _Will I ever be free?_

Watching the seagulls over the sea, he'd wish he was among them, one of them. He'd wish for wings, for the feel of the wind in his face, for the chance to touch the stars that were so far away.

"_I don't understand," he's say, pacing around the white chair, glaring at its occupant. "Why are you happy? Why don't you want more out of this-this half life?"_

"_Why should I complain?" she'd say, biting her lip as she sought perfection in that nonexistent drawing. "Aren't you glad you at least get to experience life, even if it's through him?"_

"_I'd rather be dead!"_

He'd never mean that. He loved life, but not this meaningless nonexistence. He wished for the glory days when he wandered at will, traveling from star to star, with only himself as his compass, his map.

Maybe his best friend will be by his side, wherever he was. Where was he? Was he lost like the others? The question had been with him since the return to Destiny Islands, and at night, whenever he stood on the beach and stared up at the stars, he'd faintly recall those glory days with him.

Despite all the questions and the searching, there was a catch, a saving grace, a cure for his borderline insanity.

She was there every day, for a few minutes, for a few hours, and the white walls would cease to be. Behind the eyes of another, he'd watch her, hear her, feel her, smell her, taste her, and he'd convince himself that perhaps his nonexistence was more bearable than he'd thought.

What a lie. Nothing compared to the nighttime meandering by the sea.

One night he wanted to touch the ocean. He walked into the surf, shuddering at the chill but welcoming the sensation. Countless times he'd been in it, swimming and splashing and reveling in its embrace, but it was never his choice, never his intent. Now was his time, his decision, his _choice_, and this was how he wanted to enjoy the seaside.

How about if he submerged himself in this frothing living entity completely?

He swam back up to the surface and took in sharp breaths of salty air, and then leaned back against the rolling surface to stare up at the stars. The glowing pinpricks in the sky were beckoning to him-

"Hey!"

He sank beneath the surface and came back up sputtering and spitting. He looked around wildly for the sudden intrusion into his little world and saw her standing at the meeting of the sand and surf, arms folded over her chest.

Dumbfounded he remained submerged up to his neck, blinking in astonishment, staring as she began wading into the sea.

"D-d-don't!" he called out, willing himself to swim to shore. "It's…it's cold!"

She stopped, and waited for him to emerge from the surf. He wrung out the water from his jacket and shirt, and rubbed through his hair while she stood nearby, watching. At length he wiped his face with his forearm and turned to her.

"What are you doing out here?"

She didn't answer; she bent over and removed her wet shoes.

"…Kairi?" he said hesitantly.

She stood up and smiled at him. It was deep night and her smile was so sunny.

"I knew I'd find you here," she said.

"W-what?" How did she know that he'd come out here every few weeks to watch the stars? "How…how'd you know?"

"I can see you," she explained as she brushed at her bangs, pulling them away from her eyes. "I can see you through his eyes. Whenever he looks at the sea, I can see…there's a change in his face, like he wants something from it. Like he's hungry for it."

"But how did you know I-"

She held a hand to her heart and said, "She tells me. She's worried for you, Roxas. She thinks you're going mad."

He turned away, scuffed at the sand with his foot. She knew all along…

"Listen…I'm sorry. I know this isn't…this isn't the ideal situation for you but you have to deal with it. Unless there is a way to separate you from Sora without…without taking something out of him, you're going to have to live this way…for a very long time."

"I know that," he muttered. He'd known for a long time. With a sigh, he turned to look at Kairi. "You should go back."

"Why?" She sat down on the beach, legs stretched out, staring up at the stars. "It's a beautiful night and I'm not sleepy."

"Don't you have school tomorrow?" he asked, a little harsher than he intended. "What about your parents? I bet they have no idea-"

"Sit down," she interjected, reaching over and tugging at his wet pants. "You came out here to look at the stars, right? The other worlds?"

He hesitated again, but he couldn't deny the kindness in her voice and so he complied. He sat down next to her, legs crossed, and began dragging his fingers through the wet sand. He glanced at her, wondering if she cared that the rest of her sweats were getting wet with sea spray.

"You're not looking at the stars," she reprimanded lightly. He looked up at her, startled. Kairi smiled at him, then looked up at the heavens. "They're so beautiful, aren't they?"

He nodded mutely.

"You miss it, don't you? The old days?"

"What do you mean by that?" he asked glumly. "I was born after what happened at Hollow Bastion. I only had one year before…everything else happened."

"But that's what I meant. That one year you had, Roxas. Don't you miss it?"

He sighed. "All the time."

The rippling water filled in the interval. Then Kairi said, "One day, when King Mickey comes for us, we're going back up there. We're going to see the stars again. We'll get to meet the others-"

"Why are you doing this to me?" He didn't mean to interrupt her, but it was starting to confuse him. Annoy him. Anger him. Why was she even bothering to talk to him? He was Sora's Nobody; she had no reason to care about his well-being, yet here she was asking after his nonexistence like it was her business. "Why are you…talking to me?"

He was suddenly afraid of the hurt look on her face. "I…I just want to help. Is there something wrong with that?"

How was he going to explain it to her? "It's just-why are you bothering to talk to me? Why me? It's just…why are you so concerned with me all of a sudden? It doesn't…it doesn't make sense."

Her smile was sadder but still sweet. "I've always been concerned about you, Roxas. You, and Naminé. It really must be awful living inside of us, experiencing the world through us and not yourselves. I just…I just wanted to help you by talking to you, like a real person does to another."

There was a faraway look on her face as she looked at the sea. "That's what I do with Naminé. I talk to her, and I listen to her. That's how I found out about you. I thought that Sora, being Sora, wouldn't give a second thought about you so I decided to talk to you myself, and maybe help you out a bit."

He definitely didn't expect an answer like that. Dumbfounded, he quickly looked away and up at the sky. Was it just him or were the stars shining more brightly tonight? His senses were suddenly sharp, sharper than the previous nights here. He could even smell _her_ now, the subtle sweet scent of her shampoo mingling in with the salty breeze.

"Actually," he said quietly, "Sora does give a second thought about me. We've talked a couple of times, we get along…but I only come out when he's asleep, so he doesn't know I…take these walks."

"Oh…well…I just want to let you know that you're not alone. That's all…"

The ocean rolled up the beach and fell back, and the muted roar filled in for the silence that followed. He watched the white foam dissipate under the moonlight, watched the sand form around rocks and half shells and clumps of seaweed that washed ashore. His fingers dug into the wet sand, sensing each tiny grain that was so brutally molded by the sea.

He saw movement at the very edge of his sight. He turned to see Kairi gently rest her hand on top of his, and looked up at her face. She was smiling.

"I'm going to sleep," she said quietly, and then withdrew her hand and rose to her feet. She knelt down and then put that hand on his shoulder, gripping it firmly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He stared at her as she walked away, up the beach to the scraggly grass that bordered the sidewalk running parallel to the shore. Ever so slowly she vanished into the night, with the dim orange streetlights faintly illuminating her until she was too far away.

He turned to look at the rising tide, and then sighed heavily and rose to his feet. He brushed off wet sand, and then kicked at it, sending clods into the reaching waves. Taking a deep breath, Roxas turned and headed back to Sora's house.

"_Well?"_

_He looked at her. "Well what?"_

"_Did she get through your cloud of doom and gloom?" Naminé explained._

"_You asked her to talk to me?"_

"_I figured she was the only one you'd listen to, since you won't listen to me and, well, Sora's something else."_

_He sighed and looked at the white walls. He looked up at the white ceiling, and then at the floor and the nonexistent shadows. "Can't get out of this, can I?"_

_She shook her head. "No."_

"_But I can always make it better."_

"_You can."_

_He mulled over her answer, tilting his head to one side and then the other. "You know," he said, turning to her, "next time I go, why don't you come with me? I'll show you around."_

_Naminé smiled. "I'll definitely like that."_

_Roxas began pacing. "You should see the stars. The sky here looks…looks glamorous. I never saw anything like it when I was living in Twilight Town. It reminds me of the old days a lot, you know. Reminds me of when Axel and I had the whole universe at our feet…"_

And the next time he saw Kairi, ten hours later, he smiled when Sora smiled. And when she smiled and giggled, he knew she'd seen him, too.

She'd always seen him, he realized as she, Riku, and Sora chased the other teenage residents down to the dock where their rowboats were moored. She'd always known he was there.

Sora was shouting a challenge, a race from the dock on mainland to offshore islands. A chorus of voices rose up in unison and agreement, and they were off.

He stared at the sky while his other half tried to take the lead from Riku. Seagulls were flying overhead, coasting on the sea breeze, white bodies glinting in the sunlight. One of them cried out, a shrill noise that rose above the rolling sea and the playful insults thrown from rowboat to rowboat, and Roxas felt his soul soar with it, following the seagulls into the deep blue sky and maybe the stars beyond.

Axel would be up there, Axel and Naminé and the freedom to wander among the stars.

A glamorous sky.

**X X X**

**Author's Note:** To be honest, this was more for my sanity than your sake. I won't go into details, because it might piss off a healthy amount of people who visit but here you go – a oneshot.

Reviews are deeply appreciated.


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